Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
