i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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