Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
