i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
