I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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