Yo dont text me then not text me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
