she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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