She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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