kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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