i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize