The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
