one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize