I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
