This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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