maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
