When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
