Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
