You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
