Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
