They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
