Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
