I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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