i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
