Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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