I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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