planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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