the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
