is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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