I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize