Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sorry my hands just texted you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
