I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
FUCK WHALES
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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