I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize