God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
