Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
