I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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