I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
