so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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