We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
