Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
