I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize