we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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