he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
