Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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