we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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