Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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