I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
