i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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