Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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