once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
