We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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