she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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