I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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