I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
