I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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