my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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