why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
