i just google imaged poop.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
