She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
