last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize