i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
