Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
