Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I puked a lego.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
