Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
