Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
