Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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