so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
