I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
