You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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